Economic Stimulus Payment
Sometime
this year, we taxpayers will again receive another “Economic Stimulus” payment.
This is
indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:
Q. What is an “Economic
Stimulus” payment?
A. It is money that the Federal government will
send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own
money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to
purchase a high definition TV, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut Up.
Below is
some advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check
wisely:
- · If you spend the stimulus money at
Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
- · If you spend it on gasoline, your
money will go to the Arabs.
- · If you purchase a computer, it will
go to India, Taiwan or China.
- · If you purchase fruits and
vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras or Guatemala.
- · If you buy an efficient car it will go to Japan or Korea.
- · If you purchase useless stuff, it
will go to Taiwan.
- · If you pay your credit cards off, or
buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in America
by:
- · Spending it at yard sales, or
- · Going to ball games, or
- · Spending it on prostitutes, or
- · Beer (American owned beer companies
only), or
- · Tattoos
These are the only American Businesses still operating in the US
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